Flagging for femmes and other people who need an alternative to the back pocket

Photo: Bandanas folded up and laid out in rainbow order for the hanky code or flagging. Photo source: Google Images

Flagging, also know as the hanky code, is a way to signal to others what type of sex, kink or fetish someone is seeking. It’s an subtle way to express a potentially taboo or deviant desire publicly to those initiated to the code while going unnoticed by the normative culture. Flagging opens a platform for negotiating those desires by inviting potentially sexual attention. (And while flagging means being open to being propositioned and to being rejected, a flag is not be misconstrued as consent.)

Photo: A person wearing blue jeans with multiple bandana hankies in the pockets flagging all different colors. Photo source: Google Images.

In the gay cruising culture of the mid-20th century, men would wear their keys on their belt on the left to indicate if he was a top or dominate partner and on the right to indicate if he was a bottom or reciprocal partner, according to Gay by the Bay: A History of Queer Culture in the San Francisco Bay Area, by Susan Stryker and Jim Van Buskirk.

A Village Voice journalist is credited with the birth of the modern hanky code in 1970, jokingly suggesting that instead of wearing keys to indicate whether someone was a top or a bottom, it would be more effective to announce a particular sexual desire by wearing different colored hankies in their back pockets. There were only a few colors suggested—red, navy, light blue, green and black—because that was all that Levi’s produced at the time.

The practice of flagging has since become popular among queers of all genders, and the colors and the meanings behind the bandanas has evolved to include nearly every shade of sex, kink and fetish.

But what about high femmes? Or people who just don’t wear pants? Or people with the gift of accessorizing? Or people who just want to/need to participate in flagging without sticking a hanky in their back pocket? How do we partake in this time-honored queer tradition?

Well you can rejoice, because through conversations I’ve had with other femmes, alternative flaggers and general hanky code enthusiasts, I’ve come up with the following tips:

Wear a bandana on your head, in your hair like a headband or around your neck. Tie the knot on the right to indicate bottom, the left to indicate top or behind your head to indicate switch.

Photo: Nails painted red with bandana print on them. Flagging hanky code. Photo source: Google ImagesPaint your nails. Pick a color that corresponds to the hanky color you wish to flag. Paint your left hand for top, your right hand for bottom or both hands for switch. Or just paint the ring finger on whichever side you’d like to flag. If you’re very talented at nail art, you can paint a bandana print on top of the color you’re flagging or pick up some bandana nail decals.

Tie a bandana on your purse or bag. Carry your purse on your left side to indicate top and on your right side to indicate bottom.

Create a belt out of hankies. Knot a bunch together in one color or multiple colors and tie it around your waist like a belt to indicate switch.

Tie a hanky to your wrist, ankle, boot, belt loop or wherever else you can. Just put it on the side you wish to flag.

Photo: A flower made out of a bandana to flag the hanky code. Photo source:  Kinky Craft on Etsy, Google ImagesMake a pin, charm, hair accessory, etc. out of bandanas. Kinky Craft on Etsy sells hair flowers handmade out of hankies that can be clipped anywhere. Or you can get crafty and pick up some of your own bandanas and make something fierce—like a bow or a pin or whatever you want.

Try scarves or ribbons as an alternative. Think hankies are heinous? Does a bandana clash with your outfit? Sub in a plain color fabric or use scarves or ribbons. This would probably work exceptionally well for codes that do not resemble the traditional bandana print, like houndstooth, argyle and multi-color polka dot.

Bottom line: Get creative. These are just a few ideas I’ve picked up. There’s a million ways to flag—it’s really up to you.

A printable pocket guide to the hanky code is available here. Below are two great charts for deciphering the hanky code:

This is a chart of the more traditional hanky code meanings. (A screen reader friendly version of this chart is available here.)

Photo: Chart of traditional flagging and hanky code meanings. Photo source: Wikipedia, Google Images

This is an expanded hanky code chart, building upon the traditional meanings. (A screen reader friendly version of this chart is available here.)

Photo: A chart of the expanded hanky code for flagging. Image source: flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com, Google ImagesPhoto: A chart of the expanded hanky code for flagging. Image source: flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com, Google ImagesPhoto: A chart of the expanded hanky code for flagging. Image source: flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com, Google ImagesPhoto: A chart of the expanded hanky code for flagging. Image source: flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com, Google Images

NOTE: The above hanky code was created by the flagging opinicus rampant bloggers and commenters as a queer feminist and pangender response to the traditional gay male code. It isn’t a standard or traditional hanky code but more an ongoing commentary. See updates to the code and join in the discussion here.

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24 thoughts on “Flagging for femmes and other people who need an alternative to the back pocket

  1. Pingback: Flagging for femmes and other people who need an alternative to the back pocket | QClick Radar

  2. This is cute but at some point nobody’s going to realize it’s a flag anymore. I wouldn’t see someone with red nails on both hands and think “Oh, they must be a switch who’s into fisting!” Now I’m wondering how many messages I’ve inadvertently sent with my accessorizing….

    • That’s true. Flagging is about communicating a targeted message and that message could be lost if not broadcast properly. That’s why I take issue with the nail polish flagging, and that’s why my suggestions were inclusive of the nail polish flagging included specific ways I think that the message could be conveyed.

      • Doing it on one hand only and having a bandana pattern would probably make it pretty clear (at least in a cruising-type environment)…but I wouldn’t make an assumptions based on anyone’s regular nailpolish ;-)

        • That’s part of the reason I always add trafic lights to whatever I’m flagging. I always always believe in explicit consent, whether I’m flagging it or not, but I like that it’s an added cue for folks in the know.

          And yeah, definitely more of a conversation starter than something to make assumptions on! A lot of these colours are going to look the same or look like something else in different kinds of lighting.

  3. Heya, thanks for linking our expanded hanky code. Could you mention that this version has been developed by flagging opinicus rampant bloggers and commenters as a queer feminist & pangender response to the traditional gay male code? I’m worried it’s not clear from your post that our version isn’t a standard or traditional hanky code but more an ongoing commentary.

    Also rather than pasting a screenshot would you be able to link to the page on our site instead (which you linked as a screenreader friendly version) so people can see updates and discussion?

    There’s an index of our changes to the traditional code here: http://flaggingopinicusrampant.wordpress.com/hanky-code/not-gay-flagging/

    Thanks and keep flagging,

    Gauche

  4. I have such a love hate relationship with flagging.

    In concept, I adore it. What a great way to communicate.

    However; I’ve spent the last year flagging. In the pansexual BDSM scene, in Leatherbars, in sex-positive spaces and at queer sex parties. In my boot lace; with buttons, hair accessories and bracelets. And no one noticed. Or no one said anything about it anyway.

    Converse, I often find myself wondering if people realize they’re flagging. On the streetcar home from a recent queer sex party I noticed a group of travelers that I had seen at the party, one of whom was sporting a white flag with multi coloured dots out of their left back pocket. My first thought, since there was a group of them was ‘YEAH! Orgy! ‘ And then the flagger got off the car alone – and I wondered; did that person even realize they were advertising that they we hosting an orgy?

    Probably not.

  5. Pingback: Kinky Fashion Report: IML Weekend Chicago, 2012 (NSFW) – MsBehaved.com

  6. Maybe I might have missed it but I don’t recall there being a color chart for femme seeking other femmes in the nail Polish world. Forget the bandanna because I don’t own any of a specific color to attract another femme. But what I do have are tons of nail polish. So tell me what are the specific colors to wear to attract or for that matter repel anyone you may not be trying to attract. Because I recently met this really beautiful woman and we had the same nail polish plus glitter! Talk about kismet/serendipity!
    I really like her and she likes me as well. In fact I’m meeting up with her next week for lunch and we’ll see how things go. Wish me luck! ;-)

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  8. Pingback: …Buy it in every color. | If you love something...

  9. Every gay likes to wear that. Most gay men act and behave differently from normal men. So, I think being gay is nothing wrong and we should be proud about that. If you are gay, then accept it the way it is. Look for gays to love and be loved. I think gays are beautiful.

  10. Pingback: Hanky Code: Folklore, Language, and Leather | Beyond Hanky Code

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