So if a girl kisses a girl then it doesn’t count, right?

 

Beverly, Farrah and Ashley battle it out over Beverly's make out. Photo from VH1.com.

Beverly, Farrah and Ashley battle it out over Beverly's make out. Photo from VH1.com.

So, I was watching this week’s Rock of Love Bus, a VH1 show where former Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for the woman of his dreams, and I noticed something very peculiar. (I know what you’re thinking: “Why were you watching Rock of Love? You’re the worst feminist ever!” but it is a guilty pleasure of mine that’s like crack, and I just can’t stop.) One of the girls, Ashley, is wasted and begins kissing Farrah, one of her best friends on the show. A minute later, Ashley starts drunkenly screaming that she saw some other girl on the show, Beverly, making out with a male drummer. The show then cuts to Beverly kissing said drummer. Then a huge deal is made out of Beverly kissing a man, but no one says a word about the two girls kissing.

I know reality TV makes events play out in minutes and everyone is lubed up with lots of free liquor, but the fact is on the same night of drunken debauchery two of the girls competing for Bret kiss each other, and a different contestant kisses a man and she is the only one who gets shit for it. How can Ashley call out Beverly and say that she was a whore when she was just making out with someone who isn’t Bret as well?

Kissing a girl must not count. Kissing anyone who isn’t the person you are trying to date probably won’t get you very far with them, I’ll give you that, but why the double standard? Why was it okay for Ashley to kiss Farrah, but not for Beverly to kiss a male drummer? The two kisses should be equal. If Beverly is going to be thrown in the fire for kissing a man, then so should Ashley and Farrah for kissing each other.

If you would like to view his clip of Rock of Love Bus, it can be found here.

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13 thoughts on “So if a girl kisses a girl then it doesn’t count, right?

  1. I agree. If the sexes were switched as well (for instance if the grand prize was a hot female and one of the male contestants made it with another man) they would catch hell. But with lesbians, the media seems to portray the group as either no big deal or unequivalent to shocking standards. It’s ridiculous and offensive, but at the same time I can’t help but envy that. lol, I wish if I kissed my boyfriend on TV it would be unimportant. Maybe that’s just me though…IDK i’m rambling. But i liked this blog post so I had to comment :). later

  2. Of course it doesn’t matter – because it’s ALL FOR BRET. If it gives him a stiffie, then so much the better. Two girls kissing, yeah there’s potential for him to join in, because that’s what rock stars do, right? It’s most guys’ fantasy at one time or another in their lives.

    One of his chicks kissing another man? That’s not gonna give him a stiffie, because at the end of the day there’s no room for him to join in and show off his manly rock star prowess (or something).

    Rock of Love Bus is hardly the most PC of places at the best of times, is it? Women sucking up to some sadass and his fucking wig? It makes me weep sometimes – and often I feel relieved when girls go home because I think OMG, you are too good for him!!

    I’m surprised you haven’t noticed these double standards in life in general before now! This shit’s everywhere! EVERYWHERE!

    (for what it’s worth, I’d take a snog from Farrah over one from Bret any day of the week. Then we could get to work on that gert great lug that is Big John! hehehe)

  3. It is everywhere, girls kissing girls doesn’t ever count. but remember its girl on girl that is inconsequential fun and meaningless… and that all carries over into real life. so that when people think of real lesbians queer girls they arent taken seriously. you’ve heard my rant about Katy Perry’s I kissed a girl. (http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/u/cuteskiergrl14)
    Its a fucked up world we live in

  4. Ok, so I didn’t comment on this one before because I feel like my comments have already been stated, but I just wanted to add this thing that I just saw like 5 minutes ago. I had Extra on the television (I know crap TV, but there wasn’t anything else on and I was just keeping it on in the background for a bit). So apparently they have this segment called “Mantourage” where Mario Lopez (yes Mario Lopez from Saved by the Bell, he’s a host on there) has celeb guys on to answer viewers questions. They had questions like, “How do I tell my partner I want him to try a new position?” or “Do guys know when girls are faking it?” I know, I know, why I was I still listening, but then someone asked-and I don’t remember exactly how it was phrased- “If you found out your girlfriend was bisexual would you break up with her or think that it was really hot?”
    First off, why the hell are those the only options? But even more infuriating than the question were the responses. Mario started off by saying, “I don’t know about you guys, but I wouldn’t feel very comfortable continuing in a relationship with a woman who was that into bisexuality.” (I’m paraphrasing some of that) Then R. Kelly (right?) said, “I have to disagree with you. There’s something extremely hot about a girl being into other women.” Then Ray J said something about if it was just a girl he was friends with or was just having fun with, someone he wasn’t serious with, it would be ok. However it was someone he wanted to get serious with he didn’t think he could be with a woman who was bisexual.

    I don’t even really want to comment on it because I just feel like it’s so obvious even though I know it’s really not to everyone. It’s really shitty that people who actually identify as bisexual because they are attracted to men and women have such a bad reputation. I have an idea of why they have this unfair reputation, but I’m curious of others’ thoughts.

  5. Ok, but maybe not the worst cisgender woman feminist ever. I made it 1/2 way thru. I don’t get it, and I am repulsed by objectification of woman by Humankind. Whew. At the end of the day do these girls have self respect or another shot to forget.
    Two females kissing is a not so secret fetish of men. Not new knews, but the resulting marginlization is damaging to all womankind both cisgender and transgender.

  6. I have two responses. The first is that historically, female desire is assumed not to exist… women are simply passive recipients of male desire. A huge chunk of homophobia is based on male-male intimacy as opposed to female-female: the stereotypes of promiscuity, pedophilia, the assumption of ubiquitous VD, the idea that “God sent AIDS to punish gays.” All these horrible stereotypes are really about male gays and not about lesbians. Gay men are to be feared and hated, whereas lesbians just don’t exist. Unless we’re talking about faux-lesbianism intended to titillate men, which is something different altogether.

    There is an upside, and that is that often (not always) woman-woman sexuality and love manages to skate by the culture police undetected and undisturbed. In some ways, I enjoy that the straight world doesn’t pay any attention to my sexuality. GOOD. Leave me be.

    My other point is: why do we assume that Bret couldn’t join in on one of his ladies’ and his drummer kissing? Because Bret has made it clear that he is enmeshed in patriarchal heterodominance, a structure with extremely rigid boundaries. Too bad he seems unwilling to ever consider the freedom of losing those imposed boundaries and queering his horizons. His loss!

  7. i agree with the confusion, and condemnation of double standards. i had an exboyfriend who was quite alright with my bisexuality because ‘kissing girls’ didnt count with him..ofcourse, men did.

  8. I think in society lesbianism is not considered fearful if it plays into the heterosexual man’s fantasy.
    Lesbianism isn’t considered threatening because straight society doesn’t view lesbian sex as real sex. Some straight people view lesbianism as harmless and not serious.
    However, lesbians do encounter real discrimination in society.

    However, I seriously doubt most straight men would want to be married to a woman that is truly bisexual. I think straight men like the idea of their girlfriend or wife being bisexual but I don’t think they would want a serious relationship with a bisexual woman.

  9. Pingback: Happy 1st blogoversary to SQPNTK! « Stuff Queer People Need To Know

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