Craigslist, the virtual bulletin board that creates hours of entertainment for readers, has posted this little gem in its Best of Cincinnati Craigslist category: Lesbianism in Cincinnati.
This list has the 31 criteria for being a lesbian in Cincinnati. Granted, most of them can be generalized to other cities, but the accuracy of it is what really makes it funny.
“3. If you are reading this, I probably know you. You are either my ex, my ex’s ex, a friend’s ex, an ex’s friend or someone I met off of here and eventually quit talking to (or who quit talking to me after they started dating my ex, or my friend, or my friend’s ex, or my ex’s ex …)”
“11. You claim to not like butch girls, but you only date butch girls.”
“18. Everyone knows that Cincinnati lesbians have it out for the bi girls. You’ve probably also assumed that the mystery author of this post is a shallow, narcissistic, bi girl. Nope. I’m just a lesbian with a sense of humor.”
“21. If you are butch, you claim not to be butch. You probably say something to the extent of ‘I don’t like subscribing to any labels. I’m just me.’ I’m sorry honey, but you’re butch. Get over it. You get all of the hot girls anyway.”
“28. There are only two genres of music: hip hop or Ani.”
“31. There is a very real chance that your name is Amy, Amber, April, Jessica, Sara(h) or Nikki.”
But the mystery still remains: What Cincy lezzie wrote it?